Claire: Boy. Look at these two lovebirds.
Phil: Now...First date.
Claire: Nope. He has a ring on. They both do.
Phil: Mmm-mmm. No. Married? They're not married. They're sitting on the same side of the booth. That is not a married move. That is a...That's an "I'm stupid" move.
Claire: Showing off is what it is.
Phil: How do you even talk to someone sitting on the same side of the booth? You're, like, craning your neck,
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Brad: I thought everything was fine. Really. The next thing I know, Haley starts getting more and more distant, and eventually she tells me, and I'm quoting here, "I'm...I'm strangling in the noose of sameness." So, at first, I was pissed. I really was. But then I realized, I know what she's talking about, okay. We're just cemented in these roles together, and there's no breaking out of it. [……] We're stuck. We're just stuck in these roles, this routine, and it's... I mean, we're not even a couple anymore. We're just, like... We're just excellent roommates. The most excellent roommates.
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Phil: That did not go down at all as I had expected.
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Phil: And I am just the husband. I am just the dork...
Claire: Oh, boy.
Phil: ...who doesn't know how to load the dishwasher.
Claire: Yeah, let's have a pity party for you.
Phil: I am the guy who needs to work out more. Who lights up for the husband?
Claire: Oh, my God. You're right. I keep forgetting to light up for you. Well, that's...Why do I keep forgetting to do that? Oh, wait! I remember! It's because every day, I get up, make breakfast, go to work, come home, clean the house, pick up the kids, take them to soccer, bring them back from soccer, cook dinner, clean up that dinner, give them a bath and get them into their pajamas, which is a fight every night. It's a big surprise to everybody every night that they have to wear pajamas. And then, after I have washed everybody else's food and boogers off of me, I use whatever energy I have left to physically put myself into our bed instead of lighting up for you.
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克萊爾：天啊，看這一對愛侶。
菲爾：我猜...初次約會。
克萊爾：不對，男的戴著戒指，他們都兩個戴著。
菲爾：不會吧，結婚了？他們才不是夫妻，他們坐在座位的同一邊，那不是夫妻會做的事，那是個代表「我很蠢」的舉動。
克萊爾：就是很愛現啦！
菲爾：坐在座位的同一邊，這樣要怎麼聊天? 難不成要扭著脖子說話嗎？
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布萊德：我本來以為一切好好的。真的。當我意識的時候，海莉和我越來越疏遠。最後她告訴我，以下她說的話：「我...我被數年如一日的生活勒得快窒息了。」一開始，我很生氣，真的很生氣，但後來我發覺，我理解她的在說什麼。我們只是被硬綁在一起的夫妻，根本擺脫不了。［……］我們被困住了，困在各自的角色和例行生活常規，這真是...我的意思是，我們根本不算是夫妻了，我們只是...我們就像模範室友，世界上最佳的室友組合。
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菲爾：這跟我想像的完全都不一樣！
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菲爾：我只是個沒用的老公，只是個呆子…
克萊爾：喔，老天。
菲爾：…連洗碗機都不會用。
克萊爾：是啊，我們為你開個可憐派對吧。
菲爾：我還得好好練身材，誰看到老公會眼睛發亮？
克萊爾：天哪，說對了，我老是忘了看見你要眼睛發亮，我怎麼老是忘記呢？喔等等，我想起來了，因為我每天起床 後，做早餐、工作、回家、打掃家裡、接小孩、帶他們去練足球、帶他們回來、煮晚餐、洗碗、幫他們洗澡、每晚跟打仗似的幫她們穿睡衣，想不到吧， 他們每天晚上都要穿睡衣。然後，等我把一身你們的食物和鼻涕清理乾淨後，我用僅存的力氣爬到床上，而忘了為你發光發亮。
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