Gru: We have had a pretty good year ourselves. [……] What did we do? Well, we stole the Times Square JumboTron! Nice! That’s how I roll! Yeah, you all like watching football on that, huh? But that’s not all. We stole the Statue of Liberty … the small one from Las Vegas. And I won’t even mention the Eiffel Tower! … Also Vegas. Okay, I wasn’t going to tell you about this yet, but I have been working on something very big! Something that will blow this pyramid thing out of the water! And thanks to the efforts of my good friend, Dr. Nefario. Now, we have located a shrink ray in a secret lab, and once we take this shrink ray, we will have the capability to pull off the true crime of the century. [……] Next, we are going to steal, pause for effect, the MOON! And once the moon is mine, the world will give me whatever I want to get it back! And I will be the greatest villain of all time!
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Gru: Clearly, we need to set some rules. Rule number one. You will not touch anything. Yes, you may touch the floor. Yes, you may touch the air! Rule number two. You will not bother me while I’m working. Rule number three. You will not cry or whine or laugh or giggle or sneeze or burp or fart! So, no, no, no, annoying sounds. All right?
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Edith: Are these beds made from bombs?
Gru: Yes, but they are very old and highly unlikely to blow up. But try not to toss and turn.
Edith: Cool!
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Gru: Uh, question, what are these?
Dr. Nefario: A dozen boogie robots! Boogie! Look at this. Watch me!
Gru: Cookie robots. I said cookie robots. Why are you so old?
Dr. Nefario: Sorry, I’m on it.
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Dr. Nefario: Here, of course, is the new weapon you ordered.
Gru: No, no, no, I said, “dart gun,” not … Okay.
Dr. Nefario: Oh, yes, cause I was wondering under what circumstances would we use this?
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Vector: Zip it! Happy meal!
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格魯：我們這一年可說是過得有聲有色，〔……〕，我們做了什麼呢？我們都了時代廣場的巨無霸大螢幕，帥吧，我就是這麼讚！你們都超愛用這個看足球賽對吧？還不只這個，我們還偷走了自由女神像……是賭城比較小座的，而艾菲爾鐵塔更不用提了……也是賭城迷你版。好吧，我本來沒打算告訴你們，不過，我有一個很酷的計畫，很快，我們就能幹掉金字塔事件，登上新聞頭條了！這全要感謝我最好的朋友奈安內博士。現在，我們得在一所秘密的實驗室裡找到縮小光，只要我們一得到它，我們就有能力籌畫一件驚天動地的世紀大犯罪。〔……〕這次，我們要偷的是…停一下來製造氣氛…「月球」！只要我擁有月亮，我就能稱霸全球、呼風喚雨，成為世界上最偉大的神偷！
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格魯：看來，我們須定一些規則，第一條規則，不准你們碰任何東西。可以，你們可以摸地板，可以摸空氣。第二條規則，我在工作時不能打擾我。第三條規則，不可以哭鬧、哀嚎、大笑、傻笑、打噴嚏、打嗝或放屁！所以，不能！不行！不准給我吵鬧！可以嗎？
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娜娜：我們的床是炸彈做的嗎？
格魯：是的，不過它們都很老舊了，不太可能會爆炸。不過你最好不要翻身。
娜娜：酷斃了！
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格魯：請問，這是什麼？
奈安內博士：一打舞動搜哩機器人！看我這招，搜哩蒐哩！
格魯：酥餅機器人，我是說酥餅機器人！你…為什麼這麼老番顛。
奈安內博士：搜哩，我重做。
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奈安內博士：你看這個，就是你訂製的超級新武器。
格魯：錯錯錯，我要的是氣槍，不是「屁」。喔…算了。
奈安內博士：喔，是喔，我還想了半天，是什麼情況我們才會用到這個屁槍。
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維克特：閉嘴，臭小子。
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