Reed: She said yes!
Alphonso: You’re kidding.
Reed: What?
Alphonso: I mean, you’re kidding!
Reed: You thought she’d say no.
Alphonso: Man, come on, you know me, always prepare for the worst. Immigrant mentality. Forget it, she said yes. This is good news.
Reed: Yeah, and get this. I don’t even have to play it cool today. I can be a sappy cheeseball all day, mooning about love to total strangers, and no one’ll think I’m a moron. Because it’s Valentine’s Day, huh? And everyone is romantic on Valentine’s Day.
Driver: Get your head out of your ass and use your damn turn signal, you freaking moron!
---
Susan: There is only one story today, Kelvin, it’s all yours. It’s not complicated. It’s your basic man on the street. “Tell me John Q, Jane Q, what does Valentine’s Day mean to you?”
Kelvin: It gives me acid reflux. That’s what it mean to me. We spend a lot of money. Nobody cares. It’s not a real holiday. We don’t take the day off. Come on Susan.
〔……〕
Susan: I need happy, I need romantic, I need love…and I need it from you.
Kelvin: You need Jesus.
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里德:她答應了!
艾方索:別鬧了。
里德:什麼?
艾方索:我是說,太好了!
里德:你以為她會拒絕。
艾方索:喔~拜託,你懂的,我總是往壞方向想,移民心態嘛。別管了,她答應,這真是個好消息!
里德:沒錯,而且你聽好,我今天甚至不用強裝鎮定,可以整天當個深情傻蛋,在陌生人面前為愛癡狂,也不會被當作白癡,因為今天是情人節,每個人在情人節都很浪漫。
司機:你是他媽的白癡嗎?眼睛長在屁股是吧,打個方向燈都不會嗎!
---
蘇珊:今天只有一則報導,凱文,而且由你全權負責。這一點都不難,訪問街上老百姓:「小明、小美告訴我情人節對你有何意義?」
凱文:它讓我胃酸逆流,這就是我對情人節的看法,人們花大筆鈔票,沒人在乎,甚至不是國定假日,蘇珊你行行好。
〔……〕
蘇珊:我需要快樂、浪漫和愛情…而且我需要你幫我找到這些。
凱文:你找耶穌比較快喔。
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